I wrote about weddings a while back, but that was before I had officially announced my upcoming nuptials to my family. Now six months later, my partner and I are well into the swing of planning things for next June's celebration, and I can be a little more specific about the challenges of throwing a party for the nearest, dearest and hungriest people in our lives.
This isn't going to be the sort of shindig you probably think of when picturing a Chicago summer wedding. Lauren and I are operating on what we like to think is a pretty generous budget: $3000 all day. For that, we need to pull off a wedding and a reception for somewhere between 50 and 75 people. I say 'somewhere between', because our families aren't quite used to the thought of us getting married, yet, much less to the presence of the other family, and it's anyone's guess who's going to show up.
Now, I'm sure some of you have planned weddings. Before you recoil in horror, we're not going to try to do the traditional wedding scenario on that budget. $3000 isn't enough for the venue+catering+drinks+DJ combo that make up most receptions. Shoot, it's not even as much as I would want to pay my favorite DJ. But move the party to the afternoon, put the line 'small reception' in the invitation, and all bets are off. There's a lot of leeway around how to throw a party, especially once you toss out the 'traditional' marriage baggage and focus on keeping a group of your friends entertained and fed for a few hours.
I know it sounds corny, but watching the private events here at The Chopping Block has really helped me wrap my head around my own party planning. I've seen all sorts of groups come in - from tiny bachelorette parties, to massive corporate groups comprised of strangers, to wedding receptions that start out looking (almost) as tense as I expect mine to be. Every time, they've left grinning and talking about what a good time they've had. Over the last year or so, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the secret is to all these really successful parties, and I've decided it's comprised of a few different parts:
- Give Them Something To Do: I've got a theory our private cooking events are so popular because they give people something creative to collaborate on. Whether or not they start out friends, or even acquaintances, cooking together gives them something neutral to talk about, and a reason to work together. At the end, not only has everybody had a good time, I've seen people walk out with new friends because of the conversations they've struck up while working together. Ideally, I'd like to bring that to my wedding party too, especially since we'll be mixing a bunch of different kinds of people. We're not going to be assigning tables, so it'd be great to set up activities to help them mingle and talk.
- Make Sure There's Structure: I cannot be the only person who has thrown a party and realized, with growing horror, that my guests are never going to go home on their own. No matter how polite my hints are about having to work in the morning, there is always one person who is having a great time and seems perfectly content to hang out until the next morning, and maybe ride the train in with me to keep me company. Most parties just don't have the structure that other events- classes, plays, wedding receptions, etc. have. At a private party here at The Chopping Block, there's a clear structure - arrive, cook, eat - that helps our guests transition into the next part of the evening, whether that's drinks across the street at Garcia's or heading home for the night. Lauren and I are still brainstorming ways to incorporate a structure like that into our reception without the usual meal, toasts, and dance that tell people how far along the evening has gotten.
- Feed Them: Shelley's right when she says "Food is a catalyst for friendship." There's something to be said for filling people up with good food. Our bodies are just programmed to be happy when we're eating tasty things, no matter what else is going on. Think of all the times you've sat down for food and drinks with your best friends and then think of all the good times you've had where neither food nor drinks were involved. There aren't as many of the second kind, are there? Good food really does bring people together, which is a property I'm definitely looking for in my own planning. I'm thinking pie. Everybody likes pie.
I'm sure there are other important aspects I'm missing, and I have every intention of picking our excellent event team's brain at every opportunity. Maybe we'll add a theme. Invest in some entertainment. Do you have any tips or tricks to making sure a party goes well? Non-standard wedding advice? Feel free to leave it in the comments!
